Putin on the Ritz

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The Conman-in-Chief’s latest encounter with Vladimir Putin makes it clear to all but the most obtuse observer that the bloviating blowhard is scared spit-less of the Russian gangster.

Gathered with world leaders for a photo op dressed in a blue silk smock hanging to mid-thigh that violently clashed with his orangeness, looking like an aging overweight hairstylist with a fondness for excessive hair product, Trump turned to the similarly attired little murderous macho man, flashed his best salesman smile and extended a tiny hand.

The resulting grasp exhibited none of the prolonged awkwardness shown with previous world leaders. No grip and yank to show dominance. Just a brief limp-wristed clasp to set the tone for what was to come.

With all things Russian dominating the domestic political stage, the tough-talking, trumpet blaster did not deem it expedient to have a mano-a-mano sit-down with the thug his intelligence agencies say interfered with America’s most sacred democratic institution.

Instead he asked Vlad politely during a brief aside whether the ‘rumours’ he was hearing about election interference were true.

“Nyet,” replied Vlad, apparently showing some annoyance at the trumpet-blaster’s temerity. “Is plot by political foes to ruin great relationship.”

Unspoken, except perhaps by an imperceptible digging in of Vlad’s blood-stained fingernails into the flesh of a tiny hand, or maybe the subtle twitch of a killer’s eye, was the pee tape and money laundering documentation Vlad has squirreled away in the Kremlin for just the right moment.

How else to explain Trump’s take-away from their encounter.

“I asked him again about election interference and he said no. How many times can you ask someone.”

And with that, the commander of the greatest military force the world has ever known, a man who thrives on his perceived toughness, who feigns patriotism for political expediency, who pulls no punches when dealing with adversaries like Rosie O’Donnell, Nordstrom’s, grieving Gold Star families, female network anchors, NFL players and even his own Republican colleagues, one of whom has terminal brain cancer, throws his entire intelligence community under the military bus.

“I believe him,” he said meekly.

After all, why would Vlad lie about something like that. Especially to his new best bro.

For all his shallowness, intellectual deficiency, pettiness and plain out ignorance, no one can deny the Apricot-tinted Conman’s cunning and incredible survival instincts.

Ask yourself why a man facing the pressure of a massive investigation into all things Russia would publicly take the word of his country’s number one enemy, a Russian tyrant who murders his political enemies, over the documented findings of Americans who risk their lives gathering the information in service of their country.

It’s a head-scratcher.

My guess is, money laundering and other financial crimes aside, it dates back to the Miss USA pageant in Las Vegas in 2013. According to an account pop-singing Russian oligarch Aras Agalarov gave to a Russian news outlet, as reported in Politico, he met Trump in the lobby of his Las Vegas hotel and developed an instant camaraderie.

“He took me around the shoulder, gave a thumb’s up, saying ‘Everything is cool!’” Agalarov remembered of the Trump Hotel meeting. Later, as the two watched the pageant, Trump regaled Agalarov with his philosophy on prenuptial agreements and gossiped about VIPs in the audience, per the Russian’s account.

In light of the Access Hollywood tape, who could doubt that with the country’s most beautiful women parading on stage, that the conversation with the Russian pop star turned to “boy talk.”

Investigators looking into the existence of the pee tape video are looking in the wrong place. The encounter may not have taken place in Russia, where Trump’s spidey senses would have been on full alert, but instead in a penthouse in the desert, where Trump would have felt safe getting a golden shower. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except when Russian spies are involved.

That explains the testimony to Congress of Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller, who recently told U.S. lawmakers that someone in the Agalarov entourage offered to send five women to Trump’s room during a trip to Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant. Schiller says he declined the offer on Trump’s behalf.

Agalarov likely knew the Old Orange Groper had a predilection for doing naughty things with beautiful women from the Viagra-fueled partying they did in Vegas. Like a good host, he wanted to return the favour, Moscow-style, with secret cameras rolling.

From the loyal Schiller’s testimony under oath, we don’t know whether Trump dropped his guard and succumbed to his libidinal yearnings in a far away land. The long-time bodyguard said Trump laughed when he told him about the offer. He said he stood at Trump’s door for several moments but could not testify as to what might have occurred after he left.

Given Trump’s taped admission that he can’t stop himself from kissing women, welcome or not, and his affinity for grabbing them by the pussy, it doesn’t take James Bond to figure out what the Russians might have on the Old Orange Groper.

Locked & Loaded

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The next time you’re at a large concert or sporting event, say something with an audience of about 30,000, look around at the crowd and imagine each man, woman and child with a bullet hole in their forehead. That’s how many Americans die every year from gun violence, and that’s not counting the injured.

For people who never tire of telling us they live in the greatest country in the world, shooting each other is an everyday thing.

According to the non-profit monitoring group Gun Violence Archive, in the first year of the Mango Megalomaniac’s debasement of America’s highest office there have been 378 mass shootings, defined as four or more people shot at the same general location and time. This is down from 483 in 2016. Of course, the year isn’t over.

Despite these startling statistics the Conman-in-Chief has Americans convinced that terrorism is the greatest threat facing the country. This is an alternative fact not born out by the numbers.

An exhaustive study by Alex Norasteh of the Cato Institute concluded that from post 9/11 to 2015 there have been 24 Americans killed by foreign-born terrorists. Norasteh went further, crunching numbers from 1975 to 2015. He concluded during that 40-year span that 1.13 billion foreigners entered the U.S. legally and illegally and more than 28 million foreigners entered the country for each terrorist who killed somebody in a terrorist attack, including the thousands who died on 9/11.

Clearly, building a wall and banning visitors from Muslim countries won’t keep Americans safe. Gun-loving good old boys are murdering people with frightening competence, using high-powered weapons capable of killing dozens of their fellow citizens in mere minutes.

The Conman-in-Chief, pandering to his well-armed base of deplorables, signed an executive order in February making it easier for people with mental health issues to obtain firearms. That didn’t stop him from saying the latest outrage in a Texas church wasn’t about guns. It’s a mental health issue, he said, without a hint of shame.

That’s like saying smoking cigarettes is an inhaling issue. Leave them in the pack and they won’t harm your health.

The U.S. could build a 50-foot wall around its entire perimeter and its citizens would not be safe in any aspect of their consumer-driven lives because they have to live with each other in a country suffering from mass psychosis.

Not at elementary school:

Dec. 14, 2012, Newton, Connecticut: Twenty children and six teachers are mowed down at Sandy Hook Elementary with a semiautomatic weapon.

Not at high school:

April 20, 1999, Littleton, Colorado: Twelve students at Columbine High School are killed and 21 injured by two students armed with bombs, guns they borrowed from their parents and knives.

Not at university:

April 16, 2007, Blacksburg, Virginia: A disgruntled senior at Virginia Tech kills 32 people and wounds 17 others before killing himself.

Not on the job:

Workplace killings are too frequent to list them all but it suffices to say the phrase ‘going postal’ originated in the U.S., where making a living can be hazardous, whether you work in a beer warehouse or a financial institution.

Aug. 3, 2010, Manchester, Connecticut: A former employee shoots eight people to death at Hartford Distributors before turning the gun on himself.

July 29, 1999, Atlanta, Georgia: A failed day trader killed his wife and two children with a hammer before heading to his former firms, Momentum Securities and All-Tech Investment Group, with evil in his heart. The final toll—12 dead, 13 injured.

Not while taking in a movie:

July 20, 2012, Aurora, Colorado: A Batman fan dressed as The Joker shoots 82 moviegoers, killing 12 and injuring 70 during a showing of The Dark Knight Rises.

Not while eating dinner out:

Oct. 16, 1991, Killeen, Texas. A 35-year-old man crashed his pickup into Luby’s Cafeteria. He shot and killed 23 people before killing himself. Twenty-seven others were wounded. A former roommate said he hated blacks, Hispanics and gays, and thought women were snakes.

Not while dancing to Latin music:

June 12, 2016, Orlando, Florida: A sexually conflicted security guard killed 49 people and wounded 58 others inside Pulse, a gay nightclub hosting Latin Night. He was shot and killed by police after a three-hour standoff.

Not while listening to country music:

Oct. 1, 2017, Las Vegas, Nevada: A lone gunman opened fire on a crowd of concert-goers at a country music festival on the Las Vegas Strip, leaving 58 people dead and 546 injured. The man fired hundreds of rounds with a semi-automatic rifle he legally converted to an automatic weapon, firing from his suite on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Hotel.

Not while barbecuing at home with friends and watching football:

Sept. 19, 2017, Plano, Texas: An estranged husband killed eight people on his wedding anniversary while they were watching The Dallas Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.

Not even while praying at church on Sunday morning:

Nov. 5, 2017, Sutherland, Texas: A mentally ill man who had been drummed out of the military after spending a year in the brig for beating his wife and stepson used a legally acquired semi-automatic rifle to kill 26 people and wound 20 more at First Baptist Church. He was shot by a neighbour who grabbed his own assault rifle and rushed to the scene.

The gun carnage escalates with new records being set yearly while the gun lobby bribes and extorts Washington lawmakers who piously wave the Second Amendment, written in the 1700s by men who wanted to arm slave-owning militias with flintlock muskets against the threat of an uprising by the enslaved.

Americans might want to pause for a moment before allowing their government to build walls and seal their borders. Some of them may want to get out someday.

What a great country.

Survivor – The White House Edition

surviror

Dear Trump voters…

The rational among you may have noticed your ‘businessman’ President has made a few suspect hires. The Mango Megalomaniac’s first 200 days in the Oval Office would have got him fired from The Apprentice for appalling judgement, as illustrated by a multitude of the shortest political tenures in U.S. history.

The record setting string began with National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, the shortest serving NSA ever, fired after less than a month for lying to the Vice President about his contact with the Russians.

A record that will go down in history steeped in Turkish coffee, slathered in Russian salad dressing and surrounded by the stale pizza crusts left over from conspiracy theories propagated by his son.

Then came Press Secretary Sean Spicer, fired after six months for not lying convincingly enough for the President. And because he wore ill-fitting suits, had a sparser comb-over than the boss and exhibited a limited command of English.

Spicey’s  record for ruining a reputation began with his emphatic and pictorially disprovable lie about the inaugural crowd during his first five minutes on the job.

The man the President hired to take Spicer’s place came to work with fire in his eye vowing to quell White House dissension through a scorched earth policy. Instead, Anthony “the Mooch” Scaramucci, who arrived on the press briefing scene blowing kisses and exuding an overabundance of love for the President, scorched the air waves in a profane tirade and was perp-walked off the White House grounds, his sorry ass singed and fired after 10 days. He had not yet officially assumed his duties.

The man who personified a human pinky ring holds a record for bad Presidential judgement that may never be broken,

Next came your President’s pick for the critically important post of White House Chief of Staff. The ineffectual and weak-kneed Reince Priebus, a devout Christian who declared at a banana republic cabinet ‘love-in’ that serving Trump was a blessing, was dumped like an odorous expulsion from the Narcissist-in-Chief’s dimpled fat ass.

A record in stinking up a political blessing that makes the Washington swamp smell sweet in comparison.

The latest on the list, the White House’s first political Advisor on White Supremacy, Steve Bannon, was banished back to bloviating for Brietbart, voice of the Alt Right, where he vows to wage war against anyone who tries to deflect the Infant-in-Chief from Bannon’s stated mission of figuratively blowing up the country’s institutions.

This is a record with an ominous asterisk, since the position of Advisor on White Supremacy is unique to this administration.

Consider this, denizens of Trumpland, your Reality TV hero also set a real-life firing record by becoming the first President in U.S. history to fire an FBI director who was investigating his administration. Unlike his flinty-eyed TV alter ego who cut his minions loose by staring them down across the table in a corporate boardroom, your Chicken-In-Chief sent an underling to the director’s office with a mealy-mouthed letter when he was out of town. The FBI director with a long record of public service learned about the firing on CNN.

It is understandable that those of you who first fell under the Trumpeter-in-Chief’s spell during his Reality TV days might not be overly concerned by the spate of firings. After all, most of you tuned in each week, side by each on the couch, or on matching recliners, with quivering thighs or the sexual tingling of an oncoming woody, in anticipation of hearing your hero utter his signature phrase.

If only life in America could be that great again.

The trouble is your choice to lead isn’t content with firing people. He wants to torture them too. Good people like Jeff Sessions. Your Disloyalist-in-Chief denigrated then publicly humiliated his personal pick for the highest law office in the land, hoping to goad him into resigning so he could then arrange to fire the special prosecutor investigating him for obstruction of justice and other crimes and misdemeanors.

Remember, Jeff is your guy, the first senator to endorse the man you embraced as your Commander-in-Chief. Sessions is cracking down on Dreamers and the immigrant families who are taking your jobs in the cabbage patch. He wants to ban Muslims and stop the funding to sanctuary cities. He may look like an Evil Elf but he’s claims to be a Christian who wants to expand your country’s world-leading prison industry by locking up more Americans for longer terms. He knows in his heart that people who smoke pot are bad. He stands for confederate statues and prosecuting bad people on both sides of the neo-Nazi, White Supremacy, KKK melees.

If Trump is gunning for Jeff, none of you are safe.

The Rot Within

american dream

“Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle merite.” (“Every nation has the government it deserves.”) –Joseph de Maistre, 1811.

Lawyer and philosopher Joseph de Maistre, a loyal subject of the King of Sardinia, was advocating for hereditary monarchy when he coined the phrase that became popular in the 20th century in a slightly altered version: “In a democracy, the people get the government they deserve.”

De Maistre, appalled by the violence and disorder that followed the French Revolution of 1789, favoured governments founded on a Christian constitution. As a Catholic and proponent of hierarchical authority, he supported the papacy’s hold on European monarchs.

However misguided his intention may appear through the lens of history, his words were never truer than in America in the time of the Mango Megalomaniac.

Out of a population in excess of 300 million, Americans chose as their Commander-in-Chief a pathological liar, a shallow, ignorant, thin-skinned bully, a con man who worships money above all else, a self-serving tax evader who avoided military service when his country called, a misogynist bigot, a mentally ill unstable opportunist. And they did so with their eyes wide open.

Donald Trump’s shortcomings have been on public display for five decades. His philandering, his bankruptcies, his stiffing of contractors and working people, his tacky taste and shallowness, his lying and conning (remember his election campaign vow to never settle the lawsuits over his bogus “university” scam), all played out in the media spotlight. He admitted to grabbing women by the pussy and called Mexicans rapists. He denigrated an American war hero for getting captured in the conflict he so deftly avoided and railed against a Gold Star family whose son gave his life for the country. He said it was smart not to pay taxes and called the political system that would eventually elect him rigged.

Knowing all this, Americans elected him as their President.

This should not have come as a surprise to the rest of the world.

The historical facts run contrary to the ‘alternative’ facts Americans ballyhoo while laying claim to being the greatest country in the world. America is a war-like nation founded on slavery and genocide. Conflict and violence have been its lifeblood, as evidenced by the ubiquitous war memorials in its capital. It maintains its standing in the world through military force.

The U.S. perceives its national interests extending into every corner of the globe. It is a country that sees enemies everywhere. The long list of direct armed conflict, meddling and fighting by proxy includes Britain, Canada, Spain, Mexico, Vietnam, Germany, Japan, Chile, Libya, China, Korea, the Soviet Union, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Cuba, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq, and even tiny Grenada, among many others.

When deemed to be in its national interests the U.S. government has supported despots like Sadam Hussein and the Shaw of Iran, supplied arms to mujahedeen fighters like Osama bin Laden and helped in the overthrow of democratically elected leaders like Chile’s Salvador Allende and Patrice Lumumba, the first elected Congolese Prime Minister, who was murdered with U.S. approval.

To deflect from investigations that could implode his Presidency, the beleaguered Bloviator-in-Chief ‘wags the dog’ by threatening to wage nuclear war against America’s old nemesis and newest arch enemy, North Korea, for wanting to arm itself against what it perceives as an imminent American threat.

Rest easy. Unprovoked, North Korea won’t be insuring its certain destruction by launching nuclear-armed missiles at the United States or its allies.

Like the Romans and other empires before them, what Americans fail to grasp is that the real enemy is the rot within. Military power aside, the U.S. is a country that’s world standing has peaked. It has been spiralling downward for decades while the top 10 percent get richer and the bottom 90 percent get disillusioned and increasingly bitter.

This so-called bastion of freedom imprisons more of its citizens than any other country, exceeding second place China by more than half a million inmates even though that country has a billion more people. Tens of thousands of Americans are shooting themselves or each other every year. Mass shootings are so common the national news media only focus on exceptional cases involving children, terrorism or racial motivation. Terrified police officers shoot motorists for reaching for a driver’s licence. An estimated 150 Americans overdose on opioid drugs every day.

American companies, with the First Family at the forefront, set up shop outside the country to increase profits on the backs of cheap foreign labour while companies that can’t pick up and move import foreign workers to do jobs they say Americans are too proud, lazy or soft to do.

More than two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. It is the only developed country that does not offer its citizens health care as a right. The United States is one of only three countries worldwide to opt out of the Paris Climate Accord.

Donald Trump has been a long time coming. He is made in America.

 

The clown uses dead of London town

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It is impossible to overstate the ignorance of the Mango Megalomaniac Americans have selected as their leader out of a population in excess of 330 million.

The man you have unleashed on the world is a lout, a liar, a boor, an ignoramus, a conman, an idiot, a braggart, a bully and a world class narcissist. He is vulgar, shallow, self-centred, selfish, gauche, materialistic, an opportunist and a misogynist accused of multiple sexual predations.

Only collectively can words capture the breadth of Donald Trump’s shortcomings as a human being and, more importantly, as a leader. These are not aspersions cast willy nilly by ideological enemies but instead sound assessments drawn from the body of a life lived in the public spotlight–the lies, the cons, the bragging and bullying, vulgarity and ostentation, the philandering, taped sex talk and accusations of sexual assault are part of the public record.

Trump voter or not, as an American citizen you allowed him to become President on your watch and bear responsibility for the havoc he wreaks.

In the aftermath of the latest terror attack on his nation’s oldest ally the orange-gooped old groper saw an opportunity to further his political agenda by using the dead and injured to his advantage. He immediately tweeted that the attack confirmed the righteousness of his ill-advised travel ban, not knowing yet if the terrorists came from out of country, and notwithstanding recent attacks in Britain and Europe have been perpetrated by citizens and permanent residents who would not have been affected by a travel ban.

It’s not the first time he has misused innocents. Remember the Syrian epiphany. The one that came at a hot point in Trump’s seemingly endless domestic political turmoil. The world class narcissist who said nothing when his BFF Vlad was killing kids in Aleppo with flesh-ripping bombs was suddenly so moved by images of gassed children he fired off millions worth of missiles on an empty airfield after warning his BFF about the incoming fireworks.

Fifty million dollars and a few dead guys in Syria bought him a day or two of adulation from his warmongering base and praise from spineless politicians on both sides of the swamp. Mission accomplished. Attention momentarily deflected from the shit storm at home.

Trump couldn’t stop at using the victims of the latest London attack as political props. He followed up by tweeting a cheap shot at London’s Muslim mayor, distorting and misinterpreting comments the mayor made attempting to assure Londoners and visitors to stay calm despite the increased police presence on the streets. Within hours the Pulitzer Prize winning internet site Politifact deemed Trump’s tweet about the mayor to be false. The site speculated that he got his information from watching Fox coverage of the mayor’s comment.

Can there be any doubt in the minds of rational people that Trump is pacing the empty rooms of the White House at night in his gold-trimmed bathrobe hoping in his evil heart for a foreign terrorist attack on American soil so he can point his tiny finger accusingly at the judges who thwarted his unconstitutional executive order?

This is a man who embarrassed his country and put the future of the planet at risk to fulfill an ill-informed promise he made to the science-challenged mouth-breathers who put him in office. The same ones he bragged would stick by him if he shot someone on Fifth Ave.

Reasonable Americans, turn off the tube, get off your couches and take to the streets. Overwhelm the Washington swamp dogs with your numbers. You must take your country back from this madman who believes global warming is an evil plot cooked up by the rest of the world to take advantage of the United States.

Open letter to Trump voters

Dear deplorables, crusty doughnuts and half-baked buns;

Are you tired of winning yet?

Harken back to the good old days of 2016, when the man you selected as your leader and role model for the nation’s youth, was caught bragging about grabbing pussy (boy talk, as wife Melania explained). Back then he knew more about fighting terror than the generals and was smarter than the intelligence community and everyone else on all other matters and was the only person who could solve the nation’s many problems.

He told you so and you took him at his word.

Double-dealing Donald was your saviour back in the day, someone who would pull the plug on the Washington swamp and get all those slimy politicians slithering in a political conga line with a magical wave of his tiny hands. A man who would make you feel great again, bring you back to the glory days of your grand delusions.

You knew it was true because he was a rich guy you’d watched pretend to fire people on television. You saw his name on buildings and on the airplane that took him to rallies with his trophy wife and Miami Vice sons Eric and Don Jr. and beautiful daughter Ivanka. You laughed with the naughty old orange philanderer when you heard he agreed with shock jock Howard Stern’s assessment of his daughter as “a  piece of ass.”

That happened before he found God, the Christians among you rationalized.

And as a bonus voters got his genius son-in-law Jared Kushner, someone who would overcome the Kushner family criminal stigma by brokering peace in the Middle East while simultaneously revamping the U.S. government and conducting diplomacy with Mexico, Canada and China. All while wearing a thousand dollar skinny suit with no cape attached.

What a great family, you said to yourselves, so accomplished at making money and avoiding taxes. Great kids with their collective eyes on the bottom line. You couldn’t wait for them to get into the White House and apply the skills they learned shilling for Daddy while your kids were fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. You assumed the boys must have learned a lot about business while conning shady developers into buying the family name at inflated prices. Many of you purchased Ivanka’s tacky Chinese sweat shop fashion accessories to wear to the Make America Great Again rallies.

You watched the great man walking imperiously down the steps of his personal airplane, his tie hanging below his crotch like a red codpiece, trophy wife in her proper position behind, and listened rapturously on the tarmac imagining he would make your sad lives more gilt-edged, empty and vacuous, just like his.

It was basically the same pitch he gave to the suckers who attended his bogus university: “Trust me and you can have what I’ve got.” Of course, that was before he settled the law suit,  the one being unfairly overseen by a biased Mexican judge, and gave the swindled students their money back.

There will be no refunds for Trump voters. Only a bad case of buyer’s remorse and a sick feeling that will be deemed a pre-existing condition and won’t be covered by your health insurance. That is if you are able to get health insurance.

Health care seemed easy before the election. “It will be so great, and cheaper, too,” said your apricot-flavoured conman, neglecting to mention the fine print that says it will only be cheaper if you and your family don’t get sick. But cheer up, the health bill is mired in the undrained political swamp that is the U.S. Senate and might not make it back to the Congressional slough before the impeachment.

Who knew health care could be so complicated?

Remember when the honest-talking billionaire told you it would be a disaster to elect Crooked Hillary and have the office of the President mired in an FBI investigation over improper use of e-mails. And how his trusted campaign confidant and future National Security Advisor Michael Flynn led you all in a rousing chorus of Lock Her Up.

Such good fun in 2016. Looking back, the e-mail scandal seems so quaint and innocent as your conman’s Presidency, minus the disgraced Flynn, reels under four separate investigations, including the Senate, Congress, the FBI and a special prosecutor looking for crimes like treason, perjury and obstruction of justice.

Then there’s the wall. Remember what great fun it was to shout “Build the Wall” with all your fellow bigots at those great rallies. And to chant “Mexico!” with hatred in your heart when the Mango Megalomaniac pursed his pussy lips and asked who was going to pay for it. Some of you may remember getting a woody.

Turns out you’re going to be paying for pricey repairs to an ugly fence because those stingy Republicans won’t give their own President billions of taxpayer dollars for a border solution more suited to medieval China than the 21st Century. Guess it was hard to read that fine print all slathered up under the brims of your Trump ball caps with the little guy below imitating a banana in your pocket.

Fighting domestic terrorism was easy, too, way back on the campaign trail. All your conman had to do was ban all those pesky Muslims from coming into the country with a flourish of his Super Souvenir Executive Order Trump Pen, available after the impeachment for $19.99 on the Shopping Network. What a great gift for Uncle Billy Bob’s Klan induction anniversary party. Except, this time the fine print was written in the U.S. Constitution, a wordy document none of you could be expected to have read but one the country’s “so-called judges” hold dear.

Turns out the orange tax-avoider you chose to bring fiscal responsibility to government is anything but stingy with your money when it comes to playing golf and promoting his various properties. It’s costing you more than a million dollars a round for Trump to play his courses with other rich guys. Try not to dwell on it when you buy discount golf balls at Walmart.

Then there’s the huge expense of protecting the slicked-back sons as they traipse around the world at Daddy’s behest. Not to mention the three million a month you’re paying because your hero’s trophy wife doesn’t want to share a town, let alone a roof and bedroom, with a fat-assed senior whose greasy hair hangs down to his shoulder on one side in the morning.

Tax cuts and infrastructure spending? Senior Republicans are already calling the White House’s proposed budget dead on arrival and the country is headed for a fiscal crisis in September when the temporary spending extension runs out.

Turns out those Muslims aren’t so bad if they stay in their own countries. Salesman Donnie sold the Saudis a lot of heavy duty weapons on his first foreign trip, even though a lot of Saudi money has been funnelled to terrorists and Saudis were front and centre in the 9/11 attack. Minor concerns to the man who paid someone to write The Art of the Deal. After the apricot-arsehole’s recent roadie, you have to worry about staying friendly with the NATO allies he pissed off with his boorish behaviour in Brussels.

Not to worry, he’s already got new allies in Syria and Nicaragua, the only two countries on the entire planet not to sign the Paris Accord. Unfortunately, the rest of the world’s leaders are collectively shaking their heads in disbelief at your man playing politics by putting an ill-advised campaign promise ahead of the future of the world’s children. All you coal miners out there can assure your kids they might get a shot at black lung disease if they drop out of school before the planet burns up..

But you can take some pride in the accomplishments in the first four months of your man Donald’s reign. He sent his lap dog Mike Pence down to the Senate to ensure the appointment of a supreme court judge. Course, a monkey could have got his pick through a Senate dominated by tree swingers.

But even Trump’s biggest critics have to admit it takes a world class ignoramus to piss off the Pope.

I ask again, America, are you tired of winning yet?

McMaster Dances Mango Tango

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Perhaps the most frequently asked question by rational viewers of Trumpland, the sleaziest Reality TV show in the genre’s sordid history, is why do they do it.

Why do seemingly normal people demean themselves in defense of an ignorant, bullying braggart? Why do they put their reputations on the line for a shallow conman who has spent his life enriching himself at others’ expense?

Take H.R. McMaster, the latest casualty in a long list of Trump supporters and sycophants who have stepped in front of the camera to take one for the Mango Megalomaniac. A hero of the Gulf War, McMaster, then a captain, lead a tank attack on a numerically superior Republican Guard force destroying the enemy without losing a single tank. He was awarded a Silver Star and rose rapidly through American military ranks, writing a book, Dereliction of Duty, criticizing American military leadership for its role in the Viet Nam War and earning a PhD in American history along the way. In 2014, Time Magazine listed the now Brigadier General as one of the most 100 influential people in the world.

Fast forward to his press appearance in front of the White House after his new boss, while bragging to the Russians in the Oval Office the day after he fired the FBI director investigating him, revealed highly classified information that put the lives of a U.S. ally’s intelligence operatives in jeopardy. Standing before the cameras in a tightly tailored suit unbecoming a man in charge of the nation’s national security, McMaster called the Washington Post story outlining Trump’s gaff categorically false before turning on his heel and marching back into the White House without answering questions.

The next day, no longer able to dispute the veracity of the report, McMaster was back before the cameras ‘walking back’ his previous assertion by saying the story’s intent was wrong.  Using weasel words better suited to a political hack than a respected general, McMaster maintained everything Trump said was “wholly appropriate” to the conversation at hand.

Wholly appropriate?

We later learned, thanks to a patriotic leaker in the intelligence community, that in addition to giving sensitive intelligence to the Russians, Trump told the enemy his real reason for firing the FBI director. He called James Comey, a respected public servant who eschewed a lucrative private law career to faithfully serve his country for more than three decades, a “nut job” and said his firing would take pressure off the investigation into Russian interference, an investigation in which his Oval Office guests were front and center.

This went down as Trump lapdog Mike Pence and other minions were scurrying about making fools of themselves lying to the American people, insisting Comey was fired on the recommendation of the Deputy Attorney General. Unless Pence was lying, the Russians knew the real reason for the firing before the Vice President of the United States.

Most recently, McMaster was back on television reacting to the Washington Post story that Jared Kushner and McMaster’s disgraced predecessor Michael Flynn had met with Trump’s Oval Office guest, Russian Ambassador and spymaster Sergey Kyslyak, to discuss opening a back channel to the Kremlin that could circumvent American intelligence.

Nothing unusual about this, said McMaster with a straight face, adding that governments routinely try to establish back channels to foreign governments. Trouble is, the secret meeting took place in Trump Tower during the transition, when neither Flynn nor Kushner were part of the American government.

It doesn’t take a PhD to understand that it isn’t business as usual when two subjects of an FBI investigation into Russian interference in the U.S. election are meeting with Russia’s top spy to arrange communications that will be known only to them. Think about it: Flynn, who Trump fired but continues to promote as a good guy, lost his job for lying to the Vice President about his communications with the Russians. Kushner only admitted to the meeting after being outed by the press. McMaster would have us believe we’re supposed to trust these guys.

Learned war hero General McMaster, you are sinking into the orange goop dripping from Trump’s sweating face, joining good Catholic Sean Spicer, gurgling in the muck of Trump’s toxic swamp.

But perhaps more troubling for America’s future than power hungry bootlickers doing a morally bankrupt narcissist’s dirty work to the detriment of their country, is the inescapable fact that 37 per cent of Americans still believe Trump is doing a good job.

How can this be, sensible people the world over ask themselves as they watch the hypocrite who famously evaded the draft during the Viet Nam war, not out of concience but to pursue money, lay wreaths and spout clichés during Memorial Day ceremonies? The answer is as uncomplicated as the head space of the hundreds of people who willingly went to their deaths in the service of another megalomaniac in Jonestown. Tens of millions of Trump supporters are drinking the Kool-Aid in great suicidal gulps, which doesn’t auger well for the world’s oldest democracy.

 

All The President’s Mess

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I lost interest in commenting on American politics about midway through the Mango Megalomaniac’s chaotic first hundred days in office.

Keeping up with the daily deluge of inanities, obfuscations and shameless lies spewing like poisonous gas from the capital of the world’s oldest democracy did not seem a good use of time that could otherwise be devoted to gardening, golf and observing the birds at my backyard feeder.

Who needs the elevated blood pressure and headaches that go with an evening of couch fuming while Trump’s sycophants publicly demean themselves in the service of a self-absorbed, pathological liar, a shallow, philandering, ignoramus who brags about grabbing pussy.

It is blatantly obvious that the man they  laud for valuing loyalty would throw any and all of them under the bus and then hunch over the steering wheel and happily drive back and forth over their bloodied corpses if their opinions should ever conflict with his own.

For a former altar boy, watching the good Catholic Paul Ryan grovel at the feet of someone who is anathema to everything his faith professes is to relive the disillusionment of watching Sunday morning hypocrites take the sacred sacrament in known states of mortal sin.

Paul, your sins aren’t forgiven in the confessional if you have no intention of correcting the behaviour when you leave that small, dark, solemn box. Say 10 Hail Marys, button up your big boy cassock and start living the tenets of your faith.

With more than 1,000 days yet to unfold in an administration that tops itself daily with displays of incompetence that have turned the U.S. into the butt of the world’s most dangerous joke, I suffered from a case of early onset Trump Fatigue.

Having repeatedly chastised Trump voters for putting the world in jeopardy by electing a bloviating orange blowhard to the country’s highest office, I watched from the safety of psychological distance as the old, white, Washington swamp creatures slithered in celebration after taking away health coverage from the country’s most vulnerable citizens so the moneyed class can pay less tax.

I wanted to Tweet in all caps so Trump voters would understand: BOTTOM LINE BILLIONAIRES DO NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART. THESE ARE BAD (SICK) PEOPLE.

I refrained from commenting when Trump experienced an epiphany of biblical political proportions, supposedly after seeing televised images of Syrian kids suffering in the aftermath of a gas attack.

I resisted an urge to state the obvious: Trump, who is self-evidently a world class narcissist and incapable of feeling empathy, used dead children to justify a missile attack that would momentarily deflect attention from the debacle that his presidency has become.

Where was his empathy when rescuers were pulling the bodies of kids from the rubble that remained of Aleppo after his buddy Vladimir Putin sent the Russian bombers to do their murderous work?

He needed a win, and in his demented world of alternative facts, firing missiles at a country that had no missiles to fire back would energize his heavily armed mouth-breathing base. I wanted to put the question to those gun-toting Americans who pride themselves as defenders of freedom: Why is it that the U.S. only utilizes its vaunted military and technological superiority against countries that can’t fight back in kind—Viet Nam, Grenada, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya?

North Korea, which fought the U.S. to a standstill more than six decades ago, has been starving its own people for years; Pakistan harbored Osama Bin Laden and provides sanctuary for terrorists; China could gas everyone in Tibet and not a single U.S. missile would fly.

Message to Trump: A kid is just as dead if his head is crushed by a chunk of concrete.

Oh yeah, the Russians (who were warned to get out of the way of the Syrian missile strike) can shoot back. Not to mention the golden shower video and reams of documentation Putin is holding onto for just the right moment. Pakistan has nukes.

Let’s face it Trump voters, the U.S. is the equivalent of the classic school yard bully, a country that picked its spots during two world wars and continues to beat up on military weaklings while avoiding the real tough guys.

You have put your country in the hands of an ignorant bully, an authoritarian con man who will do anything to avoid accountability, including firing the director of the FBI while that agency is ramping up an investigation into malfeasance which strikes at the core of your democracy.

The word unprecedented has become a cliché since the Mango Megalomaniac took control.

The list of firsts includes dropping the largest bomb ever to be exploded on the planet. It is the only time in your history that a president has fired an FBI director who is investigating people close to the Presidency.

Can the world’s first strategic nuclear strike be far behind?

The list grows longer and the world more dangerous as you sit back smugly on your oversized arses watching sports and reality TV as the systems and institutions you so revere are being dismantled, never missing an opportunity to tell the rest of us that you are the greatest country in the world and that God is on your side.

You listen with docility as your President bullies and denigrates longtime allies under the guise of putting American interests first. News flash: Anyone with even rudimentary knowledge of history knows Americans have always put their own interests first.

You allow your elected representatives to roll out flimsy excuses for inexcusable behaviour as they pay homage to a sick leader while stripping your family of health care. Your hallowed democracy teeters on the brink, while partisan politicians put party loyalty ahead of country.

You have been duped and like most victims of a con are too embarrassed to admit the truth. The only question that remains is how many of your precious freedoms are you willing to give up before you stand up for yourselves and  start chanting in one powerful voice–Lock him up.

It’s time to make America great (again?).

 

All hail the Cheeto King

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I’ve been writing for a while that Donald Trump suffers from the mental disorder of acute narcissism as defined by the Merriam Webster medical dictionary. Last week the eminent psychiatrist who literally wrote the manual on diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder, a professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioural sciences at Duke University Medical College, Dr. Allen Frances, sent a letter to the New York Times rebuking a group of renowned American mental health professionals who think Trump’s mental condition makes him unfit to serve as president.

Thirty-five psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers, while acknowledging they were in breach of professional rules against evaluating public figures, deemed Trump’s unstable mental condition too threatening too ignore.

Their letter to the NYT asserted:

“Mr. Trump’s speech and actions demonstrate an inability to tolerate views different from his own, leading to rage reactions. His words and behaviour suggest a profound inability to empathise. Individuals with these traits distort reality to suit their psychological state, attacking facts and those who convey them (journalists, scientists).

“In a powerful leader, these attacks are likely to increase, as his personal myth of greatness appears to be confirmed. We believe that the grave emotional instability indicated by Mr. Trump’s speech and actions makes him incapable of serving safely as president.”

In a subsequent letter, Dr. Frances told his colleagues that saying Trump is mentally ill is unfair to those who truly are.

His words are also worth repeating:

“Most amateur diagnosticians have mislabelled President Trump with the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. I wrote the criteria that define this disorder, and Mr. Trump doesn’t meet them. He may be a world-class narcissist, but this doesn’t make him mentally ill, because he does not suffer from the distress and impairment required to diagnose mental disorder.

“Mr. Trump causes severe distress rather than experiencing it and has been richly rewarded, rather than punished, for his grandiosity, self-absorption and lack of empathy. It is a stigmatizing insult to the mentally ill (who are mostly well behaved and well meaning) to be lumped with Mr. Trump (who is neither).

“Bad behavior is rarely a sign of mental illness, and the mentally ill behave badly only rarely. Psychiatric name-calling is a misguided way of countering Mr. Trump’s attack on democracy. He can, and should, be appropriately denounced for his ignorance, incompetence, impulsivity and pursuit of dictatorial powers.

“His psychological motivations are too obvious to be interesting, and analyzing them will not halt his headlong power grab. The antidote to a dystopic Trumpean dark age is political, not psychological.”

I stand corrected by Dr. Frances, which allows me to go back to calling Trump a Mango Megalomaniac and an Evil Orange Clown without fear of disrespecting the mentally ill.

But what does it say when calling the U.S. President mentally ill is deemed an insult to those who suffer from mental disorders.

It says there are a hell of a lot of dangerous fruit cakes in the Divided States of America.

Watching interviews with Trump supporters, some of whom look normal on the outside, is to see mass delusion. These people still believe their Mango messiah is the best thing since chicken-flavoured Cheetos.

  • They listen to his compulsive boasting and hear a plain-talking man of the people who will help them become the winners they have never been.
  • They see chaos in the White House and dismiss it as a vast media conspiracy.
  • They watch as their leader praises America’s arch enemy Russia and see a friend in dictator Vladimir Putin, in direct opposition to what most of them have believed since their childhoods in the nation’s hollows, swamps and trailer parks.
  • They listen as Donald Trump tells them the election he won was rigged and see millions of brown illegal voters streaming to the polls.
  • They hear about the Bowling Green massacre and insurrection in Sweden and reach for their guns.

The greatest threat to America is not immigrants, refugees, ISIS, Korea or even Russia. Instead it exists within its own borders in the heads of tens of millions of American citizens, heavily armed delusional fanatics who view an ignorant, incompetent, paranoid Reality TV star and pathological liar as the saviour who can transport them back to a time that never was, except in their distorted imaginations.

I ask again: Sane Americans, what have you allowed to happen on your watch? And more importantly: What are you going to do about it?

 

 

In and Out Like Flynn

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You have to give Donald Trump his due. He makes great alternative reality TV.

A new storyline every day.

The latest episode involves the man he hand-picked to be his National Security Adviser, Michael Flynn, who was forced to resign after denying he contacted the Russian Embassy to talk about the sanctions imposed by the Obama administration before assuming office. He held the post for 24 days, the shortest such tenure in American history.

Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Deplorables: Forget about the travel ban and insist on extreme vetting at the White House.

Trump knew about the lie on Jan. 26 after officials in the intelligence community informed the White House that intercepted transcripts of the conversation indicated sanctions had been discussed and expressed concern that Flynn might be blackmailed to keep that information quiet.

Trump sat on the information for 18 days as Flynn continued to take part in sensitive security briefings. He refused to comment after a Washington Post story came out confirming Flynn’s lie, saying he hadn’t heard anything about the reports.  As late as Feb. 13 his Propaganda Minister Kellyanne Conway went on television to say Trump had full confidence in Flynn. An hour later, after news surfaced that Trump had long been aware of the lie, his Press Secretary contradicted Conway by saying that Flynn’s status was under evaluation.

A few hours later Flynn submitted his letter of resignation using suspiciously Trump-like hyperbole by predicting that despite his unprecedented departure Trump’s presidency would go down as one of the greatest in U.S. history. The letter acknowledged that he ‘inadvertently misled’ Vice President Mike Pence.

Talk about an alternative fact. Let’s call it a lie.

Wow. Are we still in the first month of the Trump administration?

The Narcissist-in-Chief reacted to the scandal by Tweeting that the real story should be the illegal leaks coming out of government agencies.

Donald Trump prides himself on being a straight shooter who talks to his followers in language they understand, which sometimes means speaking at grade school level.

Let’s lay out what happened in plain language even a ‘bad high school student’ can understand.

Trump chose Flynn despite the misgivings of many people about his temperament and management abilities. He was rewarded for supporting Donald Trump when it looked like he couldn’t win and was on the front lines at Trump rallies shouting “Lock her up.” He was fired from a high-ranking intelligence job in the Obama administration.

He has been at Trump’s side throughout the campaign and during the transition and first 24 days of the Presidency as a trusted advisor. Flynn contacted the Russians and told them not to sweat the sanctions imposed by President Obama for helping Trump win the election. He told the Russians it wouldn’t be long until Trump relaxed the latest sanctions and Vladmir Putin knew he could look good by not retaliating with his own sanctions as every Russian administration had done in past similar circumstances. The next day Trump praised Putin, Tweeting that he was very smart.

When Trump found out Flynn’s calls had been recorded he did nothing, hoping that the embarrassing information could be contained. Flynn accompanied him to Florida for weekend meetings with the Prime Minister of Japan and continued acting as his National Security Adviser right up until the evening of his resignation.

When the story broke, Trump focused on the leaks instead of the lie, ignoring the inescapable real fact that if the Washington Post hadn’t published the information Michael Flynn would still be the National Security Advisor, lies be damned.

This should be shocking stuff for all Americans. How many lines have to point from the White House to the Kremlin before Congress and the Senate put partisan politics aside and stand up for the country by launching an independent investigation.

Let’s put things in point form for those who don’t comprehend things as well as Donald Trump, who told an audience last week that nobody comprehends things better than him. Another whopper that in his alternative world make him the smartest person on the planet.

  • Russia wanted Donald Trump to be President and they interfered in the U.S. election to get him to the White House. Think about that, bad student. Why would Russia want Trump?
  • Trump publicly encouraged the Kremlin to hack the Democrats during his campaign.
  • His campaign chair Paul Manafort was fired when his ties to Russia came into question.
  • The FBI has corroborated certain details from a dossier compiled by a highly credible former British intelligence agent suggesting the Russians may have compromising information on Trump. They are looking deeper.
  • Trump’s pick for Secretary of State, arguably the most important post in the cabinet, was awarded the Medal of Friendship from Russia for oil deals he made while head of Exon Mobile.
  • Trump’s now disgraced pick for the highly sensitive position of National Security Advisor appeared at Putin’s elbow at a dinner celebrating the state controlled television network for which Flynn provided paid commentary.
  • Before assuming the National Security Advisor job, Flynn contacted the Russians to give them the heads up on what to do about Obama’s sanctions for interfering in the election, violating a longstanding U.S. tradition of ‘one President at a time’ and possibly contravening the Logan Act.
  • Trump then praised Putin for not reacting to the sanctions calling him smart.
  • Flynn lied about the call to the Russians the American people, saying sanctions were never mentioned.
  • When given the opportunity to call Putin out for being the murdering, thieving, thug the world knows him to be, Trump told a huge pre-Super Bowl audience that Putin’s tactics were no worse than things the U.S. had done, flabbergasting even Fox’s Bill O’Reilly and outraging hawkish Republicans.
  • Flynn came clean only when he realized the FBI had transcripts of the call, saying he couldn’t remember if sanctions came up.
  • Trump kept Flynn at his side, and sent his top aide Kellyanne Conway to express his full confidence in Flynn 17 days after he was informed of the lie.
  • Flynn resigned hours after the second Washington Post story broke about the Department of Justice informing Trump that Flynn lied.
  • The next day Press Secretary Sean Spicer, doled out a serving of alternative facts, telling assembled media that Trump acted decisively and has been very tough on Russia.

My fellow North Americans, good students and bad, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… well… Adults living outside the U.S. are seeing the bigger picture here. Your President is mentally ill. At the very least he may have real business or personal reasons for being soft on Russia. As it was so vociferously communicated at a Town Hall meeting in Utah, make your representatives in Congress and the Senate “Do their jobs.”